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The Senior Dogs Project "Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog." |
The Road Ahead....Dealing with Guilt and Sorrow |
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Are you re-thinking, over and over again, whether you chose the right time to euthanize your dog? Do you worry that you didn't try hard enough to find the best possible care for her? Are you blaming yourself for the mistakes you think you made? Perhaps you should have fed her a different diet? Perhaps you should have taken her to the vet sooner? Maybe it was the time you yelled in anger that made her sick, or the time you left her at the kennel where she barked all night. You are not alone. All of us who have deeply loved our dogs experience such doubt and guilt....and, of course, deep sorrow. Try to focus on all the positive aspects of your relationship with your dog, and give yourself credit for all the good things you did for her. Try to understand that doubting yourself and blaming yourself are normal and natural, but are not rational or realistic. It is 100% certain that you did the very best you could for your dog. Don't be reluctant to seek comfort and support in dealing with the grief and guilt you are experiencing. There are many resources you can use. Here are some suggestions:
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Pet Loss Hotlines: Pet Loss Support Hotline, University of California at Davis, School of Veterinary Medicine Tufts University Pet Loss Support Hotline Chicago Veterinary Medical Association in conjunction with the Delta Society University of Florida at Gainesville, College of Veterinary Medicine University of Michigan College of Veterinary Medicine |
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Here are the URLs for some Internet websites and pages on pet loss: American Veterinary Medical Association pages http://www.thepetcenter.com/imtop/euthanasia.htm Many more organizations and websites are linked from: |
 A personal and profoundly moving website: Following the loss of his dog, Beautiful, Klaus Schallhorn posted a website in tribute to him. You may find it comforting and enlightening to visit the site.
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We highly recommend that you subscribe to the Senior-L E-mail list, which is especially for people with senior dogs. You can post to the list or just read the posts of others. Subscribers to the list are often facing the pain and grief of losing a dog. To subscribe, address an e-mail to: listserv@listserv.aol.com Leave the subject line blank. In the body of the message, write: subscribe SENIOR-L your name You will receive a message from the list asking for confirmation of your subscription. Be sure to follow the instructions in this message and the additional guidelines you will receive from the list owners concerning how to post messages to the list. Subscribing to the list is free, and you may end your subscription at any time. |
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Sometimes it makes people feel better if they do something special in memory of their dog. For example, you might put together a scrapbook of photographs and stories or things you want to remember about your dog. Even though you may be sad when you look at the book from time to time, it is a nice way of paying tribute. You might consider making a contribution to a shelter or a rescue group in memory of your dog. Your local shelter or humane society most likely has a memorial program. If your dog was a specific breed, you can contact the local breed rescue, which is also likely to have a memorial program. If friends ask what they can do, you can suggest making a donation to one of these programs in memory of your dog. |
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A Final Act of Caring: Ending the Life of an Animal Friend Good-bye My Friend Coping with the Loss of a Pet: A Gentle Guide for All Who Love a Pet Conversations with My Old Dog, by Robert Pasick, Ph.D. Adpar Press, Ann Arbor, MI. Order from amazon.com or by E-mail: RPasick@aol.com. Paperback, $10.95. Surviving the Heartbreak of Choosing Death for Your Pet When Your Pet Dies: How to Cope with Your Feelings Copyright © 1997 - 2008. The Senior Dogs Project. All Rights Reserved. |